Being alone has become my worst fear, i dont know when it happened but i'm not okay with it. It's not the kind of alone that requires a romantic relationship. It's the kind of alone where when there is no one around me i feel lost and upset. Since i've started working and going to school i'm constantly on the go, and around people. Even at home, my brother always has friends over so i never have alone time. If i do have a chance to have alone time i fill it with time with friends or a bible study over coffee. I never let myself be totally alone, which is why i think this fear has been brought up.
I used to crave alone time, back in the day. I always wanted to be alone because i couldnt function if i wasnt in my own head at least 2 hours of the day. I dont know what has changed but it needs to stop. I dont have my best sister to fill in the gaps, she's in Mexico. I dont have Dom to fill all of my time because work gets in the way. My dad has a new job that keeps him away weeks at a time. There are times where i'm going to be home alone and i need to be okay and not need to call someone to come stay with me.
Jesus, i ask you to fill the gaps inside of me that are causing these anxieties, please show me where this stems from. I love you, you are bigger than my fear. You are bigger than being alone, you are bigger than everything i fear.
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