It turns out that my dads heart wasn't the one that needed changing, it was mine.  

As i sit here, eating my humble pie, i smile, i have to, because how could i have thought i knew the Lords plan for me?  Even though New Tribes was a Godly desire, it was still of myself, and when i didnt let go, Jesus made me let go.  If you can not already tell, i will not be attending New Tribes Bible institute this fall.  I will be attending Kellogg Community College. (That was not what i was expecting to tell people at my open house.)
I had a good conversation with my both of my parents, in the same room, and i realized i was being stubborn.  I know Jesus was chuckling at me this whole time, just waiting for me to understand, to trust him.  I had to let go of a very big desire of my heart, as i cried it out i know Jesus was whispering "trust me".  So, i am.  I'm trusting that KCC is exactly where he wants me.  I'm being placed perfectly to where i'm called.  Even though sometimes i wish i was being called to Africa, i will take this calling and run with it.  I will be excited at what God has to offer and what things i will learn.  I've decided i will continue schooling after KCC at a transfer school God hasnt delivered yet and study teaching, with a minor in biblical studies.  Now, take all of this with a grain of salt because God could change all of this any minute.  So, i hold onto my bible and i lift my eyes to the heavens where i know my help comes from.  I smile at my Savior and i trust.

"Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart" Psalm 37:4

The thing about this verse is, i think we miss read it.  "Delight yourself in the Lord", when you're so consumed in Jesus, you cant see anything other than Him and his goodness.  "and when you do that, he will give you the desires of your heart." Jesus knows your heart and my heart way better than we ourselves know it.  So when it says he will give us our desires, we dont even know what those desires are.  But He does, and when we are consumed and fulfilled and DELIGHTED in Him, those desires will become clear to us.


Thank you, Jesus for knowing my heart better than i do.  Thank you for keeping your promises, and Thank you for saving me.


I trust you.