It's been awhile, blog.

I havent written in your for a very specific reason, i have a new blog.
I'm sorry you had to find out this way, but this blog is way better for me.
I still love you, we had good times, but it's time to move on.

I'm starting a new adventure.
In September i will be leaving on a trip with AIM (adventure in missions)
Its called the world race.
We go to 11 countries, in 11 months.
Crazy right?
My new blog that you can totally read all my crazy thoughts and advenutres on is
chelseamiller.theworldrace.org

i hope you follow me over there, too.
If you feel led to support me on this trip there is a link on the left side of my blog
that says "Support Me"

i would love it.
Thanks for following my crazy words, i hope you continue to.

We can believe our eyes, or we can believe what the Lord has said.

"Yet at present we do not see everything subject to him"

-Hebrews 2:8

Murder

Cancer

Rape

Violence

Lies

Hunger

Abuse

Deception 

There is so much in this world that seems like it has nothing controlling it,

that sin is just running rampant through the world.  I've seen my friends

lose their loved ones.  I've seen my neighbor get diagnosed with cancer 

and be given 2 months to live.  I have heard stories of girls being raped. 

I hear people say "If this is how God controls it, if this is how things are subjected

to Him and his power, why would i want to sign up?"  My pastor today said it perfectly.
"I get that."

"Yet at present we do not see everything subject to him"

We cannot see yet, the power that he has over all of this, but he DOES. 

We believe or lies and we let the circumstances of this world dictate our love for God. 

I wont let myself do that any longer.  I wont believe my eyes, i WILL believe what my 

God has promised me, and what he says to me.
"The key to knowing God is good, is simply knowing him."

If we know our Lord, our God, than there is no way we let the sin of this world

tell us what He can or cannot do.  That he is angry God that hates us. 

No. 

We know the truth, we just forget it sometimes. 

Whether you see him or not, He sees you. 

He cares. 

He loves. 

He protects. 

He gives. 

He takes. 

He preserves. 

He pursues. 

He sacrifices.

He adores.
He adorns.  

He blesses.
He grants.
He lives. 

Our God is good, forever. 

Surely our Messiah will make all things new.

I am weak
I am selfish
I am self centered
I am horrible with directions
I am rude
I am foul speaking
I am lustful
I am jealous
I am rich
I am lazy
I am deceitful
I am materialistic
I am disrespectful
I am everything i am not supposed to be
Yet, He calls me His and makes me new. 
He breaks open my heart and wipes it clean
He opens up my chest and breathes me into life
I can see who i'm meant to be in His eyes
Everything i dont want to be is wiped away by His blood
All of my sin and all of my inequities are thrown away
He doesnt just fix the cracks in my interior
He strips my whole entire being down, knocks over all the walls, all the horrible things inside
and he builds me into something great, something beautiful, something worth love.
I am Healed
I am free
I am forgiven
I am loved
I am held by the highest of Kings
I am his beloved
He calls me by name
He tells me he has a plan for me
This plan burns the core of being
My heart throbs in my chest for my Savior
He is my everything
I lose my life to gain it
I die to live

He is everything, He is my most high,  He is my strength and my rock, and my one true desire.
My eyes and my heart are set on heaven, no earthly thing could ever hold my attention long enough
My reason for living is to win this race, and to bring everyone with me.
To hear him say "you are my good and faithful servant, you have ran hard and well, thank you for loving me."
I want to love him with all my heart, all my mind, and all my soul.

Jesus, you're the one who saves us, constantly creates us into something new. 

As the dew falls on the blade
You have touched all this fragile frame
And as a mother knows her baby's face
You know me, You know me

As the summer air within my chest
I have breathed You deep down into my breast
And as You know the hairs upon my head
Every thought and every word I've said
Every thought and every word I've said

Savior, You have known me as I am
Healer, You have known me as I was
As I will be in the morning, in the evening
You have known me, yeah, You know me

Oh, and as the exhilaration of autumn's bite
Oh, You have brought these tired bones to brilliant life
And as the swallow knows, she knows the sky
This is how it is with You and I
Oh, this is how it is with You and I

Savior, You have known me as I am
Healer, You have known me as I was
As I will be in the morning, in the evening
You have known me, yeah, You know me

From the fall of my heart to the resurrection of my soul
You know me, God, and You know my ways
In my rising and my sitting down
You see me as I am, oh, see me as I am

And as a lover knows his beloved's heart
All the shapes and curves of her even in the dark
Oh, You have formed one in my inward parts
And You know me, You know me, yes

Savior, You, You have known me as I am
Oh, healer, You have known me as I was
As I will be in the morning, in the evening
You have known

You have known me, in the morning, in the evening
You've known me, God
In the morning, in the evening You have known me
Yeah, You've know me

You have always known me
You know me, God, You have known me
You have always known my heart

The mention of your name.

"Filled with wonder, awestruck wonder, at the mention of Your Name."

I sang that line last night in a mini worship circle with 2 of my best friends last night and it hit me, is that really true?  Am i honestly filled with wonder every time i hear the name "Jesus"?  I should be.  I should almost fall to my knees every time i think of him, anytime i think of the idea of him i should be filled awestruck wonder that its hard for me to even think straight.  

"For the word of God is living and active.  Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart.  Nothing in all creation is hidden from God's sight.  Everything is uncovered and laid bare before the eyes of him to whom we must give account."

-Hebrews 4:12-13

I cant even take that verse.  His word, HIS WORD, is that powerful, it can penetrate even the hardest of hearts.  No debate, no intellectual thought could ever win over the truth of God.  If his word is that powerful, what does that make him?

"Men swear by someone greater than themselves, and the oath confirms what is said and puts an end to all argument   Because God wanted to make the unchanging nature of his purpose every clear to the heirs of what was promised,  he confirmed it with an oath.  God did this so that, by two unchangeable things in which it is impossible for God to lie, we who have fled to take hold of the hope offered to us may be greatly encouraged.  We have this hope as an anchor for the soul, firm and secure.  It enters the inner sanctuary behind the curtain, where Jesus, who went before us, has entered on our behalf.  He has become a high priest forever, in the order of Melchizedek."

-Hebrews 6:16-20

"In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth.  Now the earth was formless and empty, darkness was over the surface of the deep, and the Spirit of God was hovering over the waters.  And God said, "let there because light," and there was light."

-Genesis 1:1-3

He is the beginning and he is the end, the author and the publicist, My savior, my God, my father, my best friend. Wonder fills my veins when i think about the God i serve, the awesome-ness of who he is, and i dont even know the half of it.  When i think about what it will be like to stand before him and see his face, my mind gets scattered because i cannot even imagine, i know i will not be able to even behold his glory.  My face will be forever at his feet in total admiration.  He is the only one worthy of high praise, the only one worthy of ALL my affection and all my attention.  Everything i am shakes at the mention of his name, and it will from now on.  I will not let myself become complacent of where i'm at with Him.  I want to constantly grow and know more about Him.  I want to constantly be more intimate with Him and have my face planted at his beautiful feet from the time i wake up to the time i go to sleep.

My God's name has more power than any thing imaginable.  

I'm filled with awestruck wonder, at the mention of your name.